I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
