oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize