So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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