Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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