Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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