Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
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