My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
i need an iv and a liver transplant
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
