She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Randomize
