Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
