He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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