He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
