You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
