Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
