Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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