people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Randomize
