I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Randomize
