i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
