I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Randomize
