Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
lets start a swedish sibling band together
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
