i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
