I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
