Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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