Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
