just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
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