We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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