and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
420 ftw
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
