addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
