So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
