How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
is it fun? or sober?
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