I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
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