u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
she looked like the before picture.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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