What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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