I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
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