Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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