i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
