have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
