I wish I could punch you in the face.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
