whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
