We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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