My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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