Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
