no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
