dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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