would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
