guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize