I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize
