there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Watching her eat just hurts me
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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