my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
love makes seman taste better
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
