you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
