so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
