I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Randomize
