Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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