I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
