u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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