Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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