if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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